With this weekend being Mother's Day, I had every intention of putting together some really profound post with my thoughts on motherhood. And then I passed out on the couch last night. Whoops...
But on the brink of my first official Mother's Day as a mama, I did want to share a few things on my heart. And the best way to sum it up is simply that I love being a mom, plain and simple. It's still kind of surreal to me that I am a mom, but I am truly loving this new chapter of life.
When I was pregnant, I was looking forward to being a mom, but obviously it's hard to know exactly what to expect when you've never experienced it before. But now that Henry is here, I couldn't imagine life without him. He's the sweetest, happiest, most adorable little ball of joy and I am so enjoying him. I've received questions from friends about how I like staying home with him, and honestly, I love it. Being able to be the one who spends each day with him is such a gift and it's not something I take for granted. Life is so, so good right now and I just want to savor every moment of this sweet season.
The hardest thing for me is really just how fast it seems like time is going by already. Before I put Henry to sleep at night, I sit in his nursery and nurse him and I swear, sometimes it feels like he's literally growing right before my eyes. He still looks so little and sweet, but each night I can feel him getting heavier as I hold him in my arms. It's so amazing and exciting but also slightly heart-breaking too. I love watching him grow and learn new things, but at the same time, I wish I could just bottle up this precious little baby stage forever. It's the definition of bittersweet. (This sums it up perfectly)
And I'll admit, there are plenty of nights where I'm nursing him and I'm distracted, sitting there on my phone, scrolling through Instagram or Facebook or whatever, just waiting for him to hurry up and finish. But lately, I've really been trying to just use that time to just be more present and really soak him in. To study his sweet little face and remember the feeling of his tiny fingers wrapped around mine while he nurses and really burn those things in my memory. It's my time there in the quiet to say the silent prayers on my heart for him, to once again thank the Lord for giving him to me, and to ask for strength and wisdom to love him as well as I possibly can. I've come to really look forward to this time with him at the end of the day before I lay him down to sleep because I know that it won't be like this forever.
And in the spirit of Mother's Day, I'm also feeling extra thankful for all the amazing mothers in my life. For my own mom, a woman who is selfless, patient, giving, and the most incredible example I could have on how to be a mom; she's always there to encourage me and also raised me to understand that being a stay at home mom is an incredibly valuable life choice to be proud of. For my mother-in-law, who is kind, generous, always there any time I need something, and who also did a really wonderful job raising my husband to be a great father and a person who values motherhood. For my grandma, who is such a loving foundation of our family and always up for a late night phone call. For my aunts, sister-in-laws, and cousins, who have all provided fabulous examples of what motherhood looks like and are always there for me. And for all my mama friends, both near and far, I feel so blessed to have such beautiful women in my life who I can text/email/Instagram any time I need advice, encouragement, or just someone who can relate to how I'm feeling. I'm especially thankful for the mamas I've connected with here in Portland that I've been able to get together with over the past five months, and I look forward to watching those friendships grow along with all our kiddos in the months and years to come.
So on that note, I hope that all the mommas out there have a wonderful weekend! Now excuse me while I go bawl my eyes out over how tiny and smushy Henry looks in all these newborn pictures...